I travel solo quite a bit, and I always struggle to decide what to do when it comes to dining in these situations, assuming I’m not meeting anyone for meals. So that brings me to a topic where I’m curious to get the thoughts of OMAAT readers…
Dining alone when traveling can be intimidating
“Just a table for one?” There’s an inherent bias against solo diners. If you’ve dined alone, you’ve probably been asked that question when you walked into a restaurant, which almost makes you want to get defensive.
Why is dining alone a “just” situation, while that’s not the case if there are multiple people? I get that there’s no harm intended with the phrase, but I do think social norms dictate that there’s something “strange” about dining alone. Or maybe I’m just overthinking things.
As someone who travels alone quite a bit, I always struggle with how to approach dining when I’m in a new city, especially outside the country. As I see it, there are a few general approaches you can take:
- You can go to restaurants like anyone else and get a table; admittedly you might feel a little more out of place if you’re dining at a buzzy restaurant on a Friday night than in the restaurant of a business hotel
- You can also go to a restaurant and sit at the bar in hopes of striking up conversations with interesting people, or whatever
- You can just avoid having sit-down meals in public, and either get hotel room service, order something via Uber Eats or another app, or you can pick something up from a restaurant or fast food establishment
The approach that I take to dining when traveling
I’m an introverted person, but I love people watching, I enjoy great food, and I like a fun vibe, even if I’m not being super social. So what approach do I take to dining when traveling?
Well, I’m all over the place, with one exception — I’m not someone who ever sits at a crowded bar, because I’m just not social enough to enjoy talking to strangers that I don’t necessarily have anything in common with.
It goes without saying that for us introverts, eating in hotel rooms is going to be the easiest and most “comfortable,” but also the least interesting. Personally, I always feel comfortable getting a table at a hotel restaurant, since hotels inherently have a transient and mixed guest profile. I rarely find that to be uncomfortable.
However, in recent times, I’ve also increasingly tried to just go out to restaurants when traveling abroad, and getting a table to enjoy the ambiance. I try to be strategic about the restaurants I choose, but for the most part, I have a great time, and I’m happy with that decision.
Here’s what I struggle with, though, when dining out. If you’re just sitting at a table alone in silence, what’s the appropriate way to behave, if there is one?
- Are you just supposed to sit there in silence without distractions, and “raw dog” the meal, and just sit there and enjoy the peace?
- Is it okay to be on your smartphone for a good portion of the time (without talking), texting, responding to emails, checking social media, etc.?
- What about bringing headphones and then at least in one ear listening to a podcast or watching a show, or something? Or reading a book?
- What about bringing your laptop so that you can work during the meal?
Personally, I try to “raw dog” solo meals as much as possible, though I often end up spending quite a bit of time looking at my phone, which I don’t feel great about, but also, I’m just not good at sitting still.
Maybe reading a book is a good option that doesn’t take away from the vibe. When I observe people using electronics, I’m always conflicted. For example, Ford and I went to a very nice restaurant when we were in Taiwan several weeks ago, and the lady at the table next to us was dining alone, and she spent the entire meal taking pictures of herself (like hundreds), which… I guess… you do you?
I’ll often see people (and not just little kids) sit in restaurants maybe watching a TV show on their phone with headphones, and personally that doesn’t bother me, and I’m tempted to do that sometimes, but I’m curious how others feel about that. Is it different if you have headphones vs. one earbud in?
When it comes to laptops, I’ll only bring a laptop to a meal if I’m dining at a hotel (or something similar) where there’s not much ambiance and it’s quite empty, because I don’t want to throw off the vibe for others.
Anyway, those are my impressions and how I approach things, but I’d love to hear from others, both in terms of solo dining preferences when traveling, and also what you think is and isn’t appropriate for solo diners (using electronics, etc.).
Bottom line
While hardly the world’s most pressing issue, I do always struggle with deciding how to approach solo dining when traveling, especially since I’m quite introverted. I think it’s awesome that many people are happy sitting at a bar and just chatting people up, but that’s not me.
I’ve largely gotten over that awkward feeling I used to have when sitting at a table “just” for one, as I do enjoy being out and about when I can be, and dining is a big part of traveling. What I struggle with is deciding whether to just sit there looking around, vs. heavy smartphone use.
I’m curious to hear from others — how do you approach dining when traveling solo? Please disclose whether you’re an introvert or extrovert as well. 😉